Warning Signs

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years have never had any problems involving abuse or anything like that. He is really supportive and loving and has never hurt me. Last weekend he got really angry after I became grumpy and kicked me out of our house. He was so angry he threatened to hurt me. I doubt he would ever do it again but it's made me feel weird toward our relationship. What should I do? I'm so confused.

- 19, Washington

You have every right to be upset and to feel "weird" toward your relationship. If your boyfriend is truly supportive and loving, that should have never happened. Regardless of how grumpy you may have been or what argument you may have had, there is no excuse for him threatening to hurt you. And he may not have physically hurt you, but the use of words alone, like his threat, are hurtful enough. That’s abuse.

After being with him for a long time it will be very difficult for you to make a decision. But the only person who can decide whether you should stay in the relationship or leave is you. I would say that after all that time you should know him very well. But this event has changed that because this has never happened before and it took you by surprise. So you have to ask yourself how well you really know him and are you willing to work through it. And keep in mind that if it happened once it can happen again.

The bottom line is that you deserve to be in a relationship where there is never any doubt that you will always feel loved and protected. Just remember that your happiness and well-being are what matter most.

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