The Column

Read below to see real teen's questions and how Break the Cycle experts answered them.

Help a Friend

August 15, 2008

I have a friend in an abusive relationship. He's threatened to hurt her if she leaves him an she just turned 18. Her family and I have tried very hard to let her know we will help her if she needs us but she's scared. I'm so scared for her and I'm afraid that at some point he might really hurt her. I don't know what to do to help her.

- 17, Iowa

It is important to let your friend know that you are concerned for her safety. Let her know also that her abusive relationship is not "normal" and that she deserves to be in a healthy relationship and in a safe environment.

Leaving an abusive relationship can be a difficult and scary thing to do. Encourage your friend to develop a safety plan to help her end her relationship safely. This can include changing the route to school/work, changing jobs or always letting someone know where you are going.

Something else to suggest to your friend is to file for a restraining order. If she is worried about her safety after ending the relationship, a restraining order can offer her protection. The best thing for her to do is to speak to someone in her community to explore her options. Offering to help connect her to community resources will be helpful.

Most importantly, remind your that she is not alone and that you and her family are there to support her and help her in any way possible. And make sure she knows that if she's ever in immediate danger it's important to call 911.

Still have questions? Remember, you can ask us anything.

Join Our Mailing List
You Can Ask Us Anything
Get answers to help your children.
Have A Question?
Ask Anything! Here’s your chance to get Break the Cycle’s expert advice. We can help!