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Quiz: Am I Hurting My Partner?
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girl-sadPhysical and sexual violence aren’t the only types of abuse. You could be harming your partner in verbal or emotional ways, like through name calling, put-downs, isolation and other types of control. You may not realize it, but some of your actions may be hurtful or even abusive.

Is your behavior hurting your partner? Answer “yes” or “no” to the following questions to find out. Have a piece of paper and pen nearby. At the end you’ll find out how to score your answers.

Do I:

1.Forget to thank my partner when he/she does something nice for me?   Yes No
2. Ignore my partner's calls if I don't feel like talking?   Yes No
3.Get jealous when my partner makes a new friend?   Yes No
4. Have trouble making time to listen to my partner when something is bothering them?   Yes No
5. Discourage my partner from trying something new or joining a new club?   Yes No
6. Call, text or drive by my partner's house a lot?   Yes No
7. Get upset when my partner wants to hang out with his/her friends or family?   Yes No
8. Make fun of my partner or call my partner names?   Yes No
9. Criticize my partner for their taste in music or clothing?   Yes No
10. Make fun of my partner's appearance?   Yes No
11. Accuse my partner of flirting or cheating even if I'm not sure that's what happened?   Yes No
12. Take out my frustrations on my partner, like snapping at them or giving them attitude?   Yes No
13. Throw things if I'm mad at my partner or do things like hit walls or drive dangerously?   Yes No
14. Read my partner's mail/email or go through their personal things, like wallet or purse?   Yes No
15. Tell my partner they are the reason for my bad mood even if they are not?   Yes No
16. Try to make my partner feel guilty about things they have no control over?   Yes No
17. Sometimes say things to my partner knowing that they will be hurtful?   Yes No
18. Make my partner feel bad about something nice they did for me but that I didn't like, even though I know they tried their best?   Yes No
19. Talk down to or embarrass my partner in front of others?   Yes No
20. Have sex with my partner even if I think they don't want to go that far?   Yes No

Scoring:

Give yourself 1 point for every “yes” you answered to numbers 1-4 and 5 points for all “yes” answers to numbers 5-20. Don’t give yourself any points for any “no” answers.

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