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Am I in an Abusive Relationship?

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It may be hard to recognize that you are in an abusive relationship before a serious physical assault happens. However, there are warning signs that can help you identify an abusive relationship before things get out of control.

What Do I Need to Know?

Know the warning signs. There are often overlooked abusive behaviors that can be early indicators that your relationship is headed in the wrong direction.

Here are a few warning signs to remember:

  • Extreme jealousy
  • Constant insults or ridicule
  • Telling you what you can and can’t do
  • Financial Control
  • Possessiveness or controlling behavior
  • Making false accusations
  • Keeping you from seeing or talking with family and friends

Remember not all of these signs will be in every abusive relationship. But, if you see any of them in your relationship, take our Healthy Relationship Quiz to help you decide if your relationship is as healthy as you deserve. Don’t forget about other things that, when combined with the above behaviors, could be red flags. Consider:

  • History of abusive behavior, especially against a former dating partner
  • Big mood swings
  • Explosive temper
  • Belief that abuse is acceptable in relationships

What Can I Do?

If you recognize any of the above warning signs in your relationship, you may be in an abusive relationship. Remember that you have many options. Let your partner know that you won’t tolerate abuse. Create a plan to stay safe, whether you end the relationship or not. Call the police if you are ever in danger or need help. And know your legal rights, especially when you are ready to leave.

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  1. National Institute of Justice and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, "Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence: Findings from the National Violence against Women Survey." July 2000.
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