You can’t control your partner’s abusive behavior, but you can take steps to protect yourself from harm. Whether you decide to stay or end the relationship, you should consider creating a safety plan. A safety plan is a personalized and practical plan for reducing your risk of being hurt by your partner. By thinking through it in advance, a safety plan can help you avoid dangerous situations and know the best way to react when you are in danger.

What Do I Need to Know?

Your abusive partner may have told you, or led you to believe, that the abuse is your fault. Remember that the abuse is never your fault and that changing your own behavior won’t control it. But you can do some things to better protect yourself before, or when, abuse happens.. Even if you aren’t ready to leave your partner, or if the violence hasn’t escalated yet, you should consider making a safety plan.

An effective safety plan makes changes to your daily lifestyle to better protect you in your home, school, work and social life. These changes can be big, like going to a confidential shelter or changing schools. But they can also be smaller, like changing your email passwords or the route you take to class. Your safety plan can also help you to escape a violent situation as safely as possible, and prepare you to end your relationship when you are ready.

What Can I Do?

Prepare a safety plan and try to follow it whenever possible. Consider involving someone you trust to help you create the plan that works best for you and your situation. When creating your safety plan, ask yourself these important questions: What can I do to stay safe in my home? How do I safely get to work or school? Is there a safe place I can go when abuse happens? Who can walk with me from one class to another? Who can I call if I feel I am in danger?

To get started on your personal safety plan, download our Teen’s Guide to Safety Planning or our College Student’s Guide to Safety Planning. Creating a safety plan can be difficult on your own. Make sure to have help and support.