The Column

Read below to see real teens’ questions and how Break the Cycle experts answered them.

Cycle of Violence

I decided to give my ex another chance, hoping there will be change. Was this the right thing to do?

It is important to realize that when violence occurs in a relationship, it will likely happen again. Abuse is usually not a one-time incident; it tends to happen again, and it usually becomes worse. If your boyfriend has been abusive toward you in the past, it’s likely that he will act the same way again. This is what is called the cycle of abuse. You can learn more about the cycle of abuse here.

Change is not impossible but it is a hard and long process, and takes a lot of work and commitment from the abuser. The abuser must recognize and acknowledge that their actions and behavior were wrong and abusive. And it’s not something that the abuser can fix on their own; they must have professional help to make that change.

Keep in mind that if you begin to see warning signs again, it’s important to address it right away. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who will respect you, support you and treat you well. You also deserve to be happy and to feel happy about your relationship. Find out what you can do if you see warning signs of abuse.

Trust your instincts. It’s up to you to decide whether or not this relationship is the best thing for you. However, if you don’t feel respected or treated right, this relationship is not the healthy one you deserve.