How Do I Help A Friend In An Abusive Relationship?

My friend is in a pretty abusive relationship–emotionally, physically, verbally and sexually. No one who cares about her likes him. I know she can do so much better; she just needs to see it. I was wondering if you could help me figure out what I can do to help. We finally convinced her to end it but she’s really nervous because he’s a pretty scary guy.

- 15, California

I think it’s great that you are taking several steps to help your friend. It sounds like she has been going through so much and no one deserves to be treated that way. I am glad that she’s beginning to see that she deserves to be in a healthy relationship.

There are several ways that you can help your friend and be supportive. One thing is to keep learning about teen dating violence. You can share this information with your friend so that she can learn to identify some of the warning signs in abusive relationships. Then in the future, she can better determine if someone is good for her. Another thing is to discuss safety planning with her. Depending on the circumstances, this can involve changing her route to school or changing her place of work. See our Teen’s Guide to Safety Planning for specific tips.

You can also help by connecting her with resources in the community. There are several places that can give information and guidance as she moves forward. Above all, continue to give her support. Leaving an abusive relationship is never easy. Having the support of family of friends can make a big difference.